Tuesday, 12 March 2013

Wilful wonder ...

This last few weeks I have mostly been distracted from writing with wondering ...

I wonder why the snowdrops I'm seeing through the window are not of the variety I would most like to see at this time of year. I wonder just how much longer I am going to kid myself that I can be fit for summer if I just follow the basic eat less; exercise more 'rules' - like that's REALLY ever going to happen. Mostly I wonder if my writerly ambitions are merely an excuse to legitimately sit comfortably reading and dreaming and scribbling the odd few words in no particular order.

Don't get me wrong, I am making progress. I am filling ever more pages with ever more words in ever more colourful ways - it's an output, of sorts! Tiny grains of ideas laid down daily and cocooned in the pages of my notebook like the tiny eggs of a butterfly camouflaged amongst leaves.

I read recently that butterfly eggs can lay dormant for up to a year before emerging into larvae (I read that some larvae form 'mutual associations with ants' - the larvae communicate with the ants using vibrations. How do people KNOW this?). Catapillars mature through a series of stages called instars where the outer tougher layers of skin crack and shed to expose a softer layer beneath. Each of these instars getting closer to the true picture of the butterfly.

So I lay the eggs of my ideas in my notebook. I revisit them to explore them further, scrutinise them; scratch off the surface crust, excavate a little further towards maturity? Looking to see if these ideas might evolve into stories with wings that can fly?

It might happen, it certainly won't happen if I don't at least try, and if it doesn't? Well at least I'm comfortable!