One word in front of another.

This last few weeks I have mostly been distracted from writing by reading...

 

Reading great writing and reading great writers ON writing. This is all perfectly reasonable, of course. An aspiring writer can do a lot worse than reading! And I've also been making notes, playing around with plots and characters, planning, drafting fragments of ideas 'to be continued ... ' Sometimes I've even been doing some continuing, joining some of the fragments together.

 

I am nothing if not thorough in my creative exploration!

 

The sticking point, the thing I am not doing, is writing stories - something of a significant limiting factor in my fiction writing ambitions.

 

On dark days I wonder if I'm not just messing *here*. I understand the the theory. I know that there is no one process, that every writer has to find their own and I've gathered LOTS of information on how to go about doing it but if, when push comes to pen on paper I can't string words together in something more than random notes, maybe I'm not cut out for this. Maybe I should just crack on with something more useful - there's lots of gardening to hide in at the moment! Then I remember I'm signed up to study an MA in creative writing starting in September and how, following the lengthy conversation that constituted my interview the sharp professor declared I needed to work on finishing things! He advised me to work on some of my short story ideas and FINISH them.

 

This man worries me; he KNOWS!!!

 

In the months since the interview I've done anything but that! However I now declare I am ready to start. I have to be, I have approximately 12 weeks before I turn up on his course.

 

The deal then? The deal I've made with myself (and shared with MrT whose patience and support for my artistic meddling knows no bounds) is to sit and write one word in front of another for 40 minutes each day - and these words MUST be something like a narrative; moving through a story from beginning to end in some semblance of order that a reader might at least be able to make sense of, if not fully enjoy!

 

I will report back on my progress and hope you're not just reading this to avoid writing your own story!

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magic mixing

This last few weeks I have mostly been distracted from writing thinking about cake ... 

I like cake, a lot, but because I am very strong willed, for the duration of my grocery shop at least, we do not have cake in the house unless I make it ... and so reader I bake. My love of baking is fuelled only by my love of eating. Although I do like the fact that people tend to be impressed with my efforts - I am in NO WAY a fancy baker but what doesn't look/taste good covered in chocolate or custard or BOTH? 

Flour + Sugar + Fat + Eggs = MAGIC!

Earlier this week whilst carefully combining ingredients - (ok, after chucking it all in the mixer and pressing 'pulse') I got to thinking how baking is a bit like writing. If you've been here before, you will know only too well how much time I spend thinking about (if not actually in the act of) writing. Having been working at the writing for a few years now, I think I've identified three key aspects of my learning as a writer:

1. studying the craft of writing - learning from writers talking about their writing and (usually very generously) sharing their learning about writing
2. reading - LOTS and across a VAST range of texts ... there is ALWAYS something to learn from ANY kind of writing
3. writing myself - every day, often making very little sense but working on building my writing stamina and confidence about putting one word in front of another and hoping to one day get them into some kind of order. 

I juggle with these three aspects daily in my attempt to build my writing skills and establish a foundation onto which I can build my ideas.

Studying the craft of other writers, learning from their reflections and lessons on writing is a bit like adding flour to the mixing bowl - it needs careful selection and sifting. There are lots of different kinds of writers out there with lots of different things that work for them but only certain kinds will work for me in my mix. I have made cakes without flour, it is possible but tricky and less stable than other mixes.

Reading LOTS is sweet like sugar. Sometimes thick, heavy molasses is just what's needed; sometimes a light dusting of fine icing sugar but all have their place and knowing what to apply when ensures a tasty experience. I did actually make a cake once without sugar (in ERROR) and although the end result looked like cake it was empty and lacking in flavour.

Writing myself - every day; this is the 'fat' of it! Doing so is helping me build consistency into my writing, without this 'fat' I really am just dreaming (and hungry). What is particularly comforting to know, in cake making as well as in writing, is that the fat needn't be the posh stuff. Basic cake recipes benefit from good old stork margarine - I have used expensive butter, just as I have tried to litter my daily writing with 'clever' literary tricks but the truth is, the basic stuff works best in terms of establishing consistency. 

Anyone reading this with even a rudimentary knowledge of either science or baking will know we are missing the eggs - how are we going to get THAT into the metaphor MrsT? Well, as I've said on many occasions, I think these things through thoroughly. The eggs are what really bring the magic to the bake. 

I think the eggs are me and my imagination. They are tightly packaged and need to be cracked into but, once the protective shell is broken, they have the power to transform. They are a natural ingredient and can vary in size and quality. Did you know that the best victoria sponge is achieved by weighing the eggs first and then adapting all other ingredients to fit that? try it! 

The addition of eggs transforms the other ingredients into something special, something particular to the mix, where the cake (with some 'cooking') becomes more than the sum of its parts. 

Happy magic mixing!

Wilful wonder ...

This last few weeks I have mostly been distracted from writing with wondering ...

I wonder why the snowdrops I'm seeing through the window are not of the variety I would most like to see at this time of year. I wonder just how much longer I am going to kid myself that I can be fit for summer if I just follow the basic eat less; exercise more 'rules' - like that's REALLY ever going to happen. Mostly I wonder if my writerly ambitions are merely an excuse to legitimately sit comfortably reading and dreaming and scribbling the odd few words in no particular order.

Don't get me wrong, I am making progress. I am filling ever more pages with ever more words in ever more colourful ways - it's an output, of sorts! Tiny grains of ideas laid down daily and cocooned in the pages of my notebook like the tiny eggs of a butterfly camouflaged amongst leaves.

I read recently that butterfly eggs can lay dormant for up to a year before emerging into larvae (I read that some larvae form 'mutual associations with ants' - the larvae communicate with the ants using vibrations. How do people KNOW this?). Catapillars mature through a series of stages called instars where the outer tougher layers of skin crack and shed to expose a softer layer beneath. Each of these instars getting closer to the true picture of the butterfly.

So I lay the eggs of my ideas in my notebook. I revisit them to explore them further, scrutinise them; scratch off the surface crust, excavate a little further towards maturity? Looking to see if these ideas might evolve into stories with wings that can fly?

It might happen, it certainly won't happen if I don't at least try, and if it doesn't? Well at least I'm comfortable!

Write NOW!

This past couple of weeks, I have mainly been distracted from writing scowling at swirling snow shenanigans. 

Not, of course, that my disapproval makes any difference. I do realise that; I just can't quite help myself. There are moments when I can appreciate the wonder that is our weather and respect the fact of IT taking charge but mostly I get frustrated that it gets in the way of plans I've made. 

One plan I have stuck to, however, is my newly-established daily writing routine following the advice from Dorothea Brande's book which I mentioned in my previous post. Reader, it works! Writing everyday, FIRST THING everyday has improved my writing stamina and, I am pleased to report, I am finding that I am not only able to write more but what I am writing is occasionally more interesting too.

Brande's advice is that it is absolutely critical for the aspiring writer to invest in themselves and how they feel about writing and not just invest time in studying the technicalities of the craft of writing. In fact, too much attention to the technicalities of the craft of writing can, in the early stages, prohibit the capacity of the writer to write anything. (VERY) Basically, the technicalities of the craft of writing are developed in our 'conscious writing brain' - this is where stories are crafted BUT we need to nurture our 'unconscious brain' which is where the stories start. If we jump too quickly into the conscious crafting we allow our self-editor to dominate too quickly and, all too often, before our unconscious creative brain has even had the chance to get-going. 

Have you ever had an idea for a story that was absolutely BRILLIANT in your head but completely impossible to write down? I've been struggling with this for the past few years! It's a clear sign that you need to clear space for your creative unconscious to become liberated. Writing every morning is the very starting point; liberating the unconscious before the conscious (and often hyper-critical) wakes up. 

The morning writing routine: the gateway to creative success?

Brande says that whilst you're establishing this early morning writing routine, you shouldn't read over what's been written. I have had a brief scan back at mine. Much of it is absolute rubbish! Less interesting to read than a timetable suspended due to adverse weather conditions, sadder than a pair of theatre tickets doomed to be unused because you can't get off your drive (have I mentioned my frustrations with snow?!). However, I do know that I am able to write more during these 30 minute sessions and I also know that it has an impact on how I feel about myself for the rest of the day. 

Starting my day writing reminds me that writing is what I want to do. In doing the morning write, it feels like my unconscious creative brain gains some confidence and this confidence continues throughout the day where my newly liberated unconscious feels free to heckle out all kinds of ideas - not all of them completely crazy and/or libellous.

The next step, following Brande's instruction (and why wouldn't you?) is to train yourself to write at a given moment. The plan goes like this:

• continue with the daily morning writing
• at the end of the morning session (after a pat on the back for sticking to it and recognising how much better you're getting!) review your plans for the coming day
• identify a SPECIFIC time that day when you WILL sit down for another 20-30 minutes and write
• importantly, this daily 'scheduled write' should be at different times on different days
• the aim is to train yourself to be able to write NOW
• Brande stresses how STRICT you have to be with this 
• No excuses, once you've promised yourself it's what you are going to do you need to get on and DO IT!

I'm going to be giving this a shot over the next couple of weeks and whatever the weather I will let you know how I get on. 

Writing? Just Do It EVERY Morning.

This past couple of weeks, I have mainly been distracted from writing by my reading ABOUT writing.

If you are already an expert writer then you really need go no further here, except perhaps to gloat (although in my experience 'expert' writers are a very kind and generous bunch; and liberal with their enthusiasm and encouragement for the novice). This is just me exploring the core of getting-going-with writing and some advice I've come across recently that I think will help me move on in my endeaendeavour. If you are teetering anywhere near the precipice of starting to think about yourself as a writer then you may find the following useful.

Becoming A Writer by Dorothea Brande is a text oft mentioned in meanderings on creative writings. First published in 1934, Brande urges would-be writers to write in the morning, every morning and before anything else. I'm thinking Ms Brande didn't have cats because I have peace to do absolutely nothing upon waking until mine have been fed but, following this feline life saving task, this is an exercise I used previously which really worked. Within a week of doing this everyday, writing before anything (except feeding cats), I find my writing picks up. I become able to write more in the same amount of time and I more quickly scroll beyond the dull dribbles of the previous day into something with a little more potential; a glimmer of imagination emerges and makes me more eager to engage further in the exercise.

Just as the repetitions of star jumps make footballers fitter for footballing; doing writing makes writers better at writing. For Brande, the morning writing exercise is all about cultivating a writer's temperament. Contrary to what can be summised from the profiles of many of my Twitter writing friends, this does not have anything to do with how many cups of coffee you drink and at what point in the day it is appropriate to drink wine. The writer's temperament of which Brande speaks is one that is more 'versatile, sympathetic and studious' than others. Genius, she assures us, 'can be taught'.

This feeds seamlessly into our desire to read about writing and study the craft of writing, a number of texts on which I have already found very useful but, Brande warns, attention to excavating our inner writer from this 'crafting' perspective will do little unless we also take time to develop our personality as a writer.

The biggest threat to the emergent writer is not the technicalities of writing but in having the confidence to actually write at all. The morning writing exercise helps us to stumble through all the demons and doubts to a place where we feel safe to have a go.

Try it:

- Write for 20 minutes every morning.
- Write before you do ANYTHING if at all possible and certainly write before reading or talking to anyone - you are trying to catch yourself writing before you inner critic wakes up!
- Keep writing for the FULL 20 minutes. DO NOT STOP, Ms Brande is VERY strict about this. Write ANYTHING but keep writing.
- Don't read back what you have written - you're building fluency and stamina as a writer not penning the next prize winner.
- Do notice how, after even a week or so, you are able to write more in this time.

I've heard/read of this so often in the past few years and having tried it, I know it works. I'm trying it again (I can't believe I ever stopped!) and this time I've bought the book! If there was a t-shirt I'd buy that too. Dorothea Brande's original text is an absolute joy, a no-nonsense read which has the potential to push your productivity as a writer ... maybe even as far as publishing.

Resolve to evolve?

This past few weeks I have mostly been distracted from writing by the chaos that is the Christmas holidays. Wonderful though this has been I find myself, like many, desperate to get back to some sort of normal. 'Normal'? I wonder! Only a couple of days ago, in the 'chrimbo-limbo' (as Sarah Cox referred to it on Radio 2), the journey through the no-mans-land from Christmas Day to New Year's Eve 'normal' was not the intention. The after glow of Santa's visit, generous quantities of cheese and chocolate, and liberal helpings of Port (other alcoholic beverages were available ... and consumed *ahem*) I was imagining 2013 as anything but normal. 

I imagined 2013 as a place in which personal failings were resolved into a fresh new me! A place of less calorie consumption, more exercise and less, FAR less procrastination. Alcohol infused enthusiasm had me believing in a world where I could be positively charged to succeed. Now? Now I'm caressing memories of time well spent with people I love and remembering that fat is a lot easier to add on than take off.

"Nature gives to every time and season some beauties of its own; and from morning to night, as from the cradle to the grave, it is but a succession of changes so gentle and easy that we can scarcely mark their progress." Charles Dickens

'Normal' 16 going on 17! 

Normal? It's a myth isn't it? This was never more obvious to me than when I had my first, and only, child. One of the clearest memories I have of the desperately difficult first few months of motherhood is of my own mum trying to reassure me that things would, in time, 'get back to normal'. 'Normal?' Reader, I screeched. 'There is NO normal. THIS is as NORMAL as it gets from here on in.' 

I am probably just about sober enough now to realise that what I am hankering for is the gentle 'succession of changes' that move me from where I am to where I want to be with enough space to reflect on the past and embrace the present.

Reflecting on the past, I am pleased to have made the 'grand' decision to embark on a part time MA in creative writing before the chaos of the holidays took over. I embraced all the Christmas chaos had to offer by carefully placing my WIP to one side for the duration. I am happy that today marks the first day of the rest of my writerly life as I redraft part of the WIP into my 5000 word submission to accompany my application for the MA.
It's life 'Jim' but never quite as we think we know it. 

"LIFE: Love, Intelligence, Fun, Evolution in that order." -Vanna Bonta

Happy 2013 days to you and yours, in whatever form that might take. 

Composing Christmas

Christmas 2009
Mine's the second one in from the left with his lovely cousins

Recently, I have mostly been distracted from writing ... considering Christmas compositions. I haven't actually written any cards yet, I need the tree up, the lights twinkling and a glass of port to hand before I can even contemplate that one but there are lots of lists; LOTS of lists!

There's a present list and a revised present list; there's a list of who's going to be where and when; a baking list, a present baking/cooking list, a days-we've-got-visitors baking/cooking list; there's a list of which visitors we've got when .... there are MANY lists! There's also the (annoying) people-who-have-Christmas-time-birthdays list - I do wish friends and family would STOP producing offspring around Christmas time, it's SO important to get this one right but SO hard!

MrT assures me the tree will be here this weekend and, given that I am already getting cards through the post (who ARE there people?) and I get more anxious as each one arrives, I'll be spending much of the next few evenings writing our festive wishes.

But what to write?

Christmas 2010
Me and my lovely God son

I'm can't do the simple 'To ... From ...' it just seems so ... brief! So functional. I mean, it's Christmas for crying out loud; I feel the need to give it more than THAT! But WHAT? We don't do the 'round robin'. We do receive a couple, one in particular that I have to brace myself to read because every year the achievements narrated by various members of the family, including the dog, leave me feeling exhausted and terminally inadequate. I do like to write something though. A personal note, a brief, relevant update. I don't send cards to people if I can get away with wishing them a Merry Christmas in passing so, where I do send, I like them to mean something.

I'm just not quite sure what.

Christmas for me is about reconnecting with people, catching up with family and friends and reminding them, especially those we don't see very often, that they are loved.

That and port, obviously.


Merry Christmas!
To you,
From me - with love x